I couldn't say grandma so she became Mema and the name stuck....most everyone called her Mema, it's like it was a title. LOL. When my mom became a grandmother, the issue arose of what to call her. She toyed with Mema at first, but there is only one Mema...so Mom is a grandma, or "glam-ma" as she likes to be called. ;-)
What's so sad is, the last decade or so of Mema's life wasn't so great. Since I knew her, she lost her father and then very shortly after, she lost her husband at a relatively young age, and then she lost her mother, and then, her brother. A few years later, she lost her only son, and then my Mom got sick. The last few years of her life, I was living in Alabama going to school. I wasn't there when she died. She got very sick the day I flew home from Greece. I drove down to Miami for her surgery the next day. I think I stayed a week. I told her about my trip and held her hand and tried to feed her all these pills the nurses insisted she take.
The surgery didn't do what we'd hoped. It was a lot for my mother to deal with alone, being she too was ill. I had a job and apartment back in Alabama that I had to return to. I was in Birmingham when Mom called me to tell me Mema died. Even though I knew it was coming, I think I was in shock. I was pretty numb actually.
My first thought was that of relief. She had suffered terribly that last month. No one should have to live like that. I was also relieved that Mom was with her in the end, so she didn't die alone...in the end, it's the best we can hope for, to have our loved ones, or one, with us when we go. In that sense, she was lucky.
I think of Mema often. So much has happened in the ten years since she died. I am always regretful that she wasn't here to see all the things that have happened. She would have enjoyed attending my wedding. I think she'd liked to have met my husband. Although she wasn't a pet-lover, I think she'd love to see all the pictures I took of Pippin and Brady over the years. I'm sure she would have really loved that we bought a house, she would enjoy visiting us too, since we're so close to Pittsburgh.
But mostly and most obviously, she'd loved to have met her great-grandson. I know she'd love a great-granddaughter, but I have a feeling she'd be thrilled to have a great-grandson. She's like me, we like boys. LOL. She'd been overjoyed at William's arrival....of course she would have been 87 at the time of his birth...shame on me for having children so late in life huh? ;-)
More than anything, she'd loved to have seen William's baptism. She was a very religious person after all...having William baptized Catholic would have really made her happy.
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The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm more like Mema than I am anyone else. We had quite a bit in common....except I 'like' to cook. LOL...Mema was never shy about her hatred of cooking. Entertaining, she loved, cooking three meals a day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year on the other hand, not so much. She did not dine out often, so she cooked all the time. I like the idea of entertaining, actually doing it on the other hand...well, still getting the hang of that. What I do know of entertaining, I learned from her.
I remember the day I learned her name. One of my favorite shows was Laverne and Shirley. Mema told me, "you know, my name is La Verne." I said, "No it's not!" she said, "Yes, Yes it is!" "I said, NO, it's not because you are not wearing an 'L' on your shirt!" So...I made her one out of paper....she wore it. ;-)
Since she had no cable, UGH....and never learned how to drive, summers and holidays at her house were a tad boring for me. So we had to go low-tech. We played cards. Lots of cards. King In The Corner, Poker and Gin, not that Old Maid crap. LOL. We also played Boggle. She loved to tell me stories of her childhood back in Pittsburgh. She and her best friend Grace would go out in the fields for long walks and run from the hobos! :-)
She and Grace befriended a little girl that they really didn't like all that much, just so they could ride her bike! It's funny to hear your grandmother tell you a story like that. It's something so common, that so many kids do, and she did it! She said playing Kick The Can got old and this girl had a really great bike! LOL! She told me about skipping school to go to the roller skating rink with her friends. One day she wore red lipstick to school and then wiped it off, but it stained so when she got home her father could tell she'd been wearing lipstick and grounded her.
Bup-Bup and GrannyShe grew up during the depression but Bup-Bup had it pretty good. He had a house, his own business, and the ONLY car in Brentwood. Her Aunt Helen who she adored had to move in with them, along with her children. Mema became very close to her Cousin Evelyn, who lived in her dining room. Granny would feed random hobo's who sat on her porch during the depression, and Aunt Helen would toilet-paper people's houses for some reason. Helen had a wacky sense of humor, light hearted and fun. I never met her, but I felt like I knew her, Mema really loved Aunt Helen. Granny was a bit more straight-laced and serious. Mema was a combo of the two.
Mema loved telling me about visiting her parent's friends, who lived on a farm. They had 16 kids, yes, 16 kids, and no indoor plumbing! I don't think they were Amish. ;-) Mema and her brother Leo would go out and stay for long weekends on the farm, and pee in the outhouse...collect eggs...and play with the multitude of children.
Mema was very good looking, and men really liked her. She had boyfriends. There were several very interested parties. She went on a blind date with George, whose brother Henry tagged along...so she ended up marrying Henry! LOL! Sadly they had to elope, so she never got her dream wedding. She wore a olive green suit to her wedding, a Mass wedding, with only two other people in attendance. She and Papa honeymooned at Niagra Falls, gas rations making up the bulk of their wedding presents. Then Papa was stationed in New Orleans, so Mema left Pittsburgh to head down south, where she made life long friends.
Mema and Papa in New Orleans
Mema, Papa and my Mom, 1949They eventually had two children and moved to Miami, FL...the rest is history. Papa worked on the Alaskan pipeline, Mema raised a sick child, and a hyper active son who kept her on her toes, she entertained, took in her sick mother, traveled with her cousin Evelyn, collected dolls, watched old westerns, drank a pot of coffee a day, buttered her coffee-cake, enjoyed the occasional margarita and beer, shopped at Macys and Penneys, kept a pristine house, helped raise a granddaughter, and loved pizza. A very ordinary life in the end.
Everyone I know has great memories of Mema. She was very well loved. She was kind hearted. She had a sense of humor. She was upbeat and positive. She was stubborn and strong. She befriended a kid she didn't like...so she could ride her bike....that story still cracks me up!
LaVerne Helen (Mottmann) Bast
Aug 21, 1922 - July 26, 2000
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