All good things come to an end....

July 7, 2011 will officially mark the last day of my life that I'm a breastfeeding woman. William is 15 months and 10 days old.

My first goal was to make it six weeks, then...six months, then a year...then, to his adjusted 'year' which occurred on May 13, 2011, nearly two months ago. Then I wanted to let him 'self wean.' I foolishly thought self weaning would occur around 18-24 months.

Everyone knows it's been a struggle from the get-go. Hyperemesis, premature birth, month long stay in the NICU, poor pump, tongue-tie. Finally last July we rid ourselves of all of that, but he was so fond of his bottle by then, it was always a struggle to breastfeed. I spent most of our nursing relationship pumping, though after the tongue-tie surgery, we did nurse daily, always followed by a bottle for him and a pump for me.

I can rest assured when he needed it most, in the NICU, he got 90% of his nutrition straight from me...well, via the pump of course.

I actually miss the days waking up full. I miss the leaking. I knew my 'stuff' worked then! Those days are long gone. My low supply tanked even more around December 2010. Around late April 2011, he got a nasty gum infection from a molar that had been trying for months to cut through. During this time, he was miserable. My supply was low and we were only night nursing by that point. One night, he was particularly fussy, I was particularly low in supply, and tired...he was struggling and struggling and finally he latched, but he bit me so hard, I just decided to stop.

I decided to just take that night off and continue the next day. Well the next day is when I discovered the infected gum, a large chunk of which was just ready to literally fall off. After it did, he was sore and still refused to nurse. I didn't know at the time, but that was the last time he ever breastfed.

I was still making milk and my pump had been stowed, so I just expressed milk into his morning cereal and night time bottle and thought I'd continuing doing so until I stopped producing.

I tried nursing again a few times, but he refused each time.

Finally, I saw my Doctor last week regarding my abnormal liver readings and my worsening migraines. He told me I need to start some medications and I can not breastfeed with them.

So I'm faced with a choice. Squirt about 10 drops into his cereal and 10 into his bottle and suffer with debilitating migraines, or just stop and get some relief. Sadly I'm choosing the latter. If my supply were better and he nursed, I'd keep going, but all that pain and inability to even care for him isn't worth it for a few drops.

Looking back, I guess I got my wish. I wanted to stop when "HE" decided it was time. When he self-weaned. And...he did.

In all, I breastfed for One Year, Three Months, One Week, and Two Days...in the end...that's not really too bad. Most would say it's been a suck-cess.

June 27, 2010

March 27, 2011, William's 1st birthday

Tales, from the titty...

I met with a lactation consultant yesterday. She lent me a super-ubber-mega-mondo-pump, I do believe that is its given name. It's about 35+ years old and weighs about 40 lbs...amazingly, it's the best pump I've ever used. My supply dipped last week so I'm 'power pumping' today with super-ubber-mega-mondo-pump and it's going very well thus far.

It appears William has a 'high' palate and a lazy tongue. His suck...sucks. LOL...pun intended. He sees the Ear Nose and Throat DR next week and I need him to perform a 'suck test' on William, so we're not out of the woods yet.

However I'm pleased to report my blisters have healed and there's minimal to no pain now while feeding him, which is wonderful! We're still struggling with side feeding in bed. Some nights are okay, some nights, ouch...not so much. But it's all going well, little one managed to gain 1 lb in a week last week! He's finally out of size "new born" clothes :-( and is wearing his 0-3 month outfits.

I read an interesting local article the other day (http://www.wlwt.com/news/24301209/detail.html) I must say it's amazing in this day and age that people are still afraid and offended by breastfeeding mothers. As a friend of mine said today, 'we ARE mammals' after all. Not only should women feel free to breastfeed in public, but they shouldn't feel compelled to 'have to' cover up or hide in a bathroom or even move to a less busy area. I see women in 'hooter hiders' all over town, and there's nothing wrong with it. I've seen women without them, feeding their child, and I still see nothing wrong with it.

With every passing week I hope my 'tales from the titty' get better. We'll see what the Dr said next week about 'the suck'. Until then, I have super-ubber-mega-mondo-pump to keep me company.