The easiest soup ever made....

I can thank Giada for most of this recipe. It's the easiest soup known to man. Beef and cannellini bean soup.

Ingredients

1 lb beef stew meat

1 box (32 oz) beef broth

1 can of petite diced tomatoes

3-4 cans of cannellini (white beans)

onion and garlic powder, salt, pepper and Italian seasoning to taste (a bay leaf would be nice)

Brown and season the beef in some olive oil. Add the canned tomatoes with the juice. Rinse the beans and add them. Add the broth. Simmer. DONE! Tastes good topped with grated Parmesan cheese.

I told you it was easy. ;-)

I'm not the kind of parent I thought I'd be...

Everyone offers you advice when you're pregnant, or become a new parent. The one bit of advice I got that was true beyond the shadow of a doubt was from Chrissy, when she simply said "NEVER say never."

I asked all my friends their opinions on crib bumpers, strollers, diapers and formula. Of course they all had something different to say. I've discovered on my own that it doesn't matter what kind of diaper I use...Huggies, Meijer brand or cloth....they're all the same (The cloth need changing more often). The brand formula I use doesn't matter, so long as it's soy, he reacts the same way. Even nursing advice, because I've heard it all, and it all conflicts. What works for me does not work for others. Everyone is different, every baby is different and every preemie is different.

In the end, the only bit of advice I got that holds true for me, for us, is to never say never.

I said I'd never breastfeed. I swore I'd never co-sleep. I said I'd never use any kind of sling or baby backpack. I said I'd 'almost' definitely put him into the local public school. I said I'd never take him to Church. Turns out I was wrong on all of that.

We all know about the breastfeeding so there's no need to discuss that further. As for co-sleeping, I swore I'd never do it. All I need is some 8 yr old kid still in my bed! Babies need to sleep, on their own, in a crib, in their own room. That's how I saw it. My house isn't that big, it's a one story, it's no big deal for me to get up and go to his room to tend to him at night. I thought I'd roll over and smother him. I thought I'd get worse sleep with him in my bed with me. Wrong.

How we began to co-sleep was purely by accident. His first night home from the NICU I was concerned about his breathing so I wanted to sleep in the same room with him. I planned to sleep on the couch and have him in the pack-n-play. Instead we both fell asleep by accident on the couch. He was swaddled, in my arms, and the next thing I knew, it was 2am and he was hungry. (I was still exclusively pumping at that time)

I decided I loved sleeping with him in my arms. I could feel and hear him breathe and I loved having him that close to me. I thought, well, I'll do this for one more week. A week turned into a month. We eventually moved into the bed. Now he mostly sleeps throughout the night. If he gets hungry, I roll over on my side and nurse him back to sleep. It's great. I actually get MORE sleep this way, and so does he. In the mornings around 4am he gets fussy, so I hold him closer to my chest so he's warm and can hear my heartbeat, and he sleeps right on through until 6 or 7am that way.

When he loses his paci at night, I'm right there to stick it back in. I can do this 100 times during a night. If I were not right next to him, I'd be getting UP 100 times a night to put it back in for him, so yeah, I get more sleep and better sleep this way. My plan now is to co-sleep until I'm done breastfeeding, and Chris is on-board with this.

I was not going to be a marsupial mom. I dig strollers....that is until I realized what a royal pain in the butt they are. My stroller takes up my ENTIRE trunk, and it barely fits. We have to squeeze it in there so hard it's all cut up now. So the girls at my LLL group gave me a sling. I didn't want to use a sling because I simply thought it was stupid. I thought it'd KILL my neck and shoulder as I have serious neck and shoulder problems. Again, I was wrong.

When worn correctly, it does not hurt my neck or shoulder at all. My back now that's a different story (OUCH!). Keeping him close to me is wonderful. He's hardly ever fussy when he's in the sling. He almost always sleeps in there. My hands are free and I don't have to mess with a clunky stroller. (Once he's too big for the sling, I'll resume using the stroller, and on really long hikes, I'll use it too. I'm so happy Liz bought us this stroller and car-seat, I just wish I had a bigger trunk!). The only drawback is I have no stroller to stroll around my heavy-ass diaper bag...which means I have to carry it. ICK.

Not only is the sling convenient and comfy for us both, but he's so adorable in it! Dayton Ohio is not a really hippie-dippy kind of place. Not many people have seen slings here, so we get looks everywhere we go. Men, women, children all stop us to smile and tell me how adorable he is, and of course, he is adorable. ;-) YES, we get far more compliments in the sling than we do in the stroller. One of the joys of having a handsome child is showing him off. What can I say, this kid is darling.

Chris uses our baby back-pack to tote the little one around...yes, we're Attachment Parents! I didn't even know what that was 6 months ago, so I couldn't say I'd do it or not. Turns out, we do...and we don't really know why. We just enjoy having him close to us, at all times. At this age (14 weeks real, 7 weeks adjusted) they need that.

[http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130300.asp] Of course there's pros and cons to all forms of parenting. We just decided to do what works best for us, and for us, this is it. Maybe it's because he's a preemie and we're extra cautious, maybe we'd been like this if he were full term, we'll never know.

Mom said it best yesterday. She said everyone will offer their opinions and their advice, whether is't wanted or not...but in the end, Chris and I need to do what decide to do. She had her kid, she raised her kid, now it's our turn. She does not agree with the whole breastfeeding, co-sleeping thing necessarily, but she knows it's safe the way we do it, and it's what we want to do. Her thing with the breastfeeding is, it's just too much work for me, and too challenging with all the problems we've had. She'd like my life to be more convenient.

Breastfeeding is not what she'd chose, but she made her choices when she had her baby. It's our baby and we'll raise him how we choose.

William and I have taken going to Church every week. If you read my earlier post on Church, and made it through to the VERY END, you'll understand why. Though I'm not a very religious person, and neither is Chris, we think it's good that William be exposed to some religion. We also decided to have him baptized Catholic. The class is at the end of the month and the ceremony is in September. So far William likes Church just fine. He's very well behaved, because he's slinged, and everyone as always gawks at him. It's 40 minutes a week I get to spend with him, massaging his back and hugging him close, it's just our little routine now.

We'll leave the homeschooling debate for another day.... ;-)

The week in review...June 25 thru July 2, 2010

This week saw a few cool new things. Most notably was just this morning, when he reached up to his animals for the very first time. He reached and tapped them several times, all while cooing. He then stared at them for a while, before losing interest. Seeing that he's now interested in grabbing for things, I bought him a few baby toys, including his first V-Tech laptop! Okay it's a piece of plastic with lights that looks like a laptop.

When we took him to the pediatrician she said he's 23 inches long and weighs 9 lbs 4 oz. This week he retired his first size New Born onesie:

There's still a few size NB onesies that he fits into but this is the first to go. He's a tad small for his 0-3 but is fitting in them much better. This week we took him to the arboretum for a second time, only this time he was in the sling so he got to see a few things. The weather was not too terrible that day. The hydrangeas were gorgeous!

The breastfeeding has gone pretty much the same. We're supplementing with a Similac Isomil sensitive but his colic still remains. I'm now trying 'baby massage' to see if that helps some. As for the pain I'm suffering, we heard from a lactation consultant that his frenulum may be too short. Our pediatrician wasn't too sure so she's sending us to a ENT next week for further consultation.

It also appears that he's beginning to start teething. We think a little molar is coming up, which is very odd, but even the Dr said that's what it looks like is happening. The little bouts of drooling, EWW, have begun....ugh, not my favorite phase. He's a tad early on this, but of course, teething can occur at any time really.

Today we worked with finger paints for the first time! I put his foot prints on some thank you cards I have to make out. Can you believe we're STILL receiving presents from people? He has everything any baby could possibly need at this point. We're so lucky and thankful to have such generous friends and family in our lives. He adores his new wubbanub frog paci from Mom, he's using it right now as I sit to write this!

Look at my wacky son making funny and adorable faces beneath is over-sized hat....little dude is such a ham at times!

And lastly this week William finally met Marlene and her daughter Makenna, who changed her first diaper ever! She did a great job. She even undressed and dressed him too! That's more than I did at five...hell I was 36 first time I did any of that! :-)

Marlene is my most 'kiddy' friend, I know she never thought she'd live to see the day I had a kid. Well, it has been a long time coming.

Today I took some pictures of little man out in the sun...since little ones can't use sunscreen we have to be careful. I snapped those pictures in about a minute flat. Can you believe it was 54 degrees outside? In JULY?! Wow!

I wonder what next week will bring...

My thoughts on Breastfeeding...

I decided a long time ago that I was not going to breastfeed. Well let's face it, I also decided I wasn't going to have children either. ;-) I didn't want to breastfeed because as it turns out, I was misinformed. I thought it would hurt (irony is it does with us but that's not the norm, we're, as you know, having issues) I mean how can it not hurt? A person is sucking with all its might on your nipples for hours a day, ouch! I thought I'd never be able to drink while breastfeeding and let's face it, I'm a fan of the ale! I thought my personal diet would have to be very limited. I thought I'd not be able to take my migraine medication, or any medication. In short, I was wrong.

In fact, breastfeeding does not hurt, when done properly. Sure you're a tad sore at first but breastfeeding without complications like thrush, which we have, isn't painful at all. Until we got thrush, breastfeeding was fine and I was in no pain at all!

And yes, you can have a glass of wine or a mug o' ale and breastfeed! In fact, beer, dark beer, is healthy for breastfeeding, it increases milk supply.

And yes, I can take my medication. My Dr told me what meds I can and can not take while breastfeeding, and nearly all of them are a go!

I can eat almost anything I want. Thus far we've not had too many issues with him not liking my milk or getting sick off it. (the formula, that's a different story)

Are there drawbacks to breastfeeding? Sure. For one, it's convenient to bottle feed (even more to bottle feed formula, no pumping required!).

In MY case, and not everyone is the same, it takes William anywhere from 60-120 minutes to nurse...now that's a long time. If I have somewhere I need to go, I don't have 2 hrs to nurse him. If I 'am' out, I don't have two hours to pull over or sit at the mall and nurse either. He'll down a bottle in a few minutes flat, but on me, he falls asleep....and stays asleep. Once I remove him, he wakes up, hungry and crying until I re-latch him...two minutes later...asleep again. Ugh.

Another plus is other people can feed him to give me a break! Now if someone else feeds him bottled breast milk then it's still breastfeeding so far as I'm concerned. Of course that requires copious amounts of pumping. When do you have time to pump if you're nursing?

If you're shy about nursing in public, then bottle feeding is the way to go! Otherwise you're stuck hiding in a ladies lounge or bathroom or your car. There is the hooter-hider for those more bold, or foregoing all forms of 'hiding' for the truly brave.

It's also easier to administer medications to the baby by putting them in the bottle too.

These are the only positives I see to bottle (formula) feeding. Let's talk about the hassles of bottle feeding. First, there's the cost. Formula is outrageous! But even more than that, is the cost of bottles! Bottles, good ones, are $10 a piece! Then you need to replace nipples from time to time. Unless you're cheap like me and enjoy washing bottles all the time, you'll need lot's of bottles....lots. We've gotten by just fine with 10 bottles, in three different sizes, but I mostly breastfeed.

Some will say to sanitize bottles after every feed, another cost, another annoyance. Then there's the 'bottle warmer'...I personally just run the bottle under hot tap water or put hot water in a coffee mug and place the bottle in that, done! Still a pain in the butt though.

Bottles weigh down your diaper bag. You can't leave unless you have bottles and purified water and formula, which means toting around a plastic bin that holds formula. What a pain! Oh and water, can't just use any old water, you need "nursery" water...or purified water, or water that costs freakin' MONEY!

I'm not even talking about the health stuff yet, am I? ;-) I mean that's a given that breast milk is healthier than any formula, and there's not debating that!

YES, a booby picture!

So, what changed my mind about breastfeeding? COST! I saw how much formula costs ($24-$26...a week) and said, um...no...breast milk is free! Well it's almost free. There's the cost of the pump, $100, and the nursing pads, $6 a month or so, and nipple cream, $11, and nursing bras, $24, and nursing tanks, $15, and nursing night gowns, $30....okay I think that's it. It's still cheaper than formula.

After I made the decision to breastfeed, I guess when I was five months pregnant, I started to do some research. Yes, it's good for the baby, yes it's good for the mother. Just read all the stuff about cancer and such here (http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-breastfeeding-benefits-you-and-your-baby_8910.bc?page=3) Who knew that breastfeeding can lower the chances of you getting certain cancers and even osteoporosis!

Did you know breast milk can cure pink eye and ear infections? (http://www.pregnancy-info.net/breastfeeding_illness.html)

I can't help but wonder, and this is personal opinion, why cancer rates in children and adults have skyrocketed in the last 100 years, as well as autism. YES breastfed babies get cancer and autism but it just seems the rates of these instances have escalated in the last 100 years, which is about the same time people started phasing away from breast milk and began using evaporated milk and other substitutes.

Now, all the cancer and other diseases could as easily be explained by our environment, the water we drink, the food we eat and the air we breathe. Perhaps we're transferring these toxins to our young in our breast milk? Perhaps it's a little bit of both. It just seems to me everything has gone to hell since people started making their lives easier. More and more people of my generation are now opting to breastfeed, whereas most in our parent's generation thought it was absurd, hippie-ish, and an inconvenience, which is why so few of them did it.

I know my mother was not initially supportive of my decision. She has since changed her mind and supports me fully. Initially she said I'd be weighed down and he'd use me as a pacifier. She said I'd be in terrible pain and bottles and formula are just more convenient. She was right, all of it, 100% correct! But does that mean it shouldn't be done? Just because it's easy doesn't make it right. Processed foods are easy and wrong on so many levels, as are fast food, artificial sweeteners, and many chemicals found in everyday cleaning products. All of this is bad for you, and many people are beginning to shy away from them.

Another thing that baffles my mind is that for about 200,000 yrs, homo sapiens have been breastfeeding, as they had no other choice. In the last 50 yrs or so, breastfeeding in the US has become almost taboo. In 50 yrs we as a society have forgotten how to breastfeed! We now must read books, join online forums, attend classes, employ 'consultants' and attend meetings to discuss the importance of, and how to, breastfeed! Have we de-evolved that much? So much that something so natural and fundamental to our survival as a species has been forgotten in the span of 50 to 100 years? What's wrong with us?

So, now I'm of the thought that breastfeeding is best and everyone should do it. LOL...cuz what I say goes. ;-) I'm like a born-again with this stuff. Everyone needs to try and commit to a minimum of six weeks. Then, set another goal, but keep them realistic. Reaching the goals are very rewarding. I just earned my "12" week badge on my breastfeeding forum...yea for me, all hail the "D"! Even through the pain of blisters and scabs and skin literally hanging off me, I've still not given up and it's been three months! Three months of painful hell. LOL...I'm in pain 24 hours a day, every day. Yeah, something's wrong, but we're still working on it because it's the best thing for him, and for me.

It's so easy at night, in bed, to just roll over on my side and feed him without getting up, making a bottle, warming a bottle...the stench of formula...plus nursing puts him back to sleep quickly.

Now that we've gotten past all the NICU induced nipple confusion, little dude WANTS to nurse. He enjoys it. His eyes, literally, roll to the back of his head once he's latched on, it's so obvious he's in heaven. Even in the NICU when he'd hardly ever nursed, he naturally 'rooted' on me...meaning even with clothes ON he leaned his head up to my breast and tried to feed, LOL...it was so cute and so funny, yet sad at the same time because nursing in the NICU was an ordeal and not something I could do daily.

It seems babies naturally will root there, on anyone, wanting comfort or food or both. This is the realization I reached recently and I stand by it. To deny them that, something that's hardwired into their little brains, just seems cruel to me. Babies were meant to be breastfed and breasts were designed to do just that. I think too many moms give up too quickly. Now I understand why they do. Also, I totally understand there are those who absolutely can not breastfeed for various reasons...I don't criticize those people.

Did you hear me when I said I have skin dangling off the ends of my nipples? Bleeding? Thrush? Burning and aching 24 hours a day? I can not wear clothes at all most of the time, which Chris loves of course....and that's just me and my discomfort.

What about when you're ready to go somewhere and lil' dude decides he's hungry and it takes us 90 minutes to nurse? Or when you're out, having to nurse in public? Or when you're cooking and you have to stop to nurse him for two hours...or even worse, you're starving but can't stop to grab a bite, because you're nursing...you have to pee...you have dogs to walk...yeah, I understand why people quit.

Another booby shot! Look at his cute head ;-)

Now him nursing for two hours is just him, that's not normal....he spends half that time sleeping anyways. I hear it's a "preemie" thing and he'll grow out of it. Remember when we started it was 13 hours straight, yes, I wanted to pull my hair out (but it's falling out anyway so never mind) ;-) Then we got it down to three hours, now two, next week, who knows....one would be nice.

At least I get to relax and watch a movie while I nurse....lots of movies. Tons of movies...The Wrestler is excellent btw... ;-)

I'm still hoping to eliminate formula all together and never use the bottles again. Every week we get closer to that goal. Every day in fact gets better and better, 'cept for the pain. :-(

Believe me, if "I" can do it, anyone can do it. I hate pain! Then again I said labor didn't really hurt so maybe my tolerance is high...;-)

Using me as a pillow.... :-)

How fast they change! The week in review, the week of June 20th, 2010

Don't blink! Boy do things change a lot, maybe not day to day but week to week for certain.

Two weeks ago, though we didn't really tell anyone, we thought William may have very poor eye sight, I even thought he may be blind. Lil' dude NEVER made eye contact with us, or anyone. He wouldn't look at....anything! The light would affect him but that was it. He never 'tracked' meaning he never followed objects, or lights, or even sounds. He didn't respond to our faces, or our voices.

Okay so I kind of thought maybe he didn't like me. ;-) Maybe he thought I was ugly...turns out he just wasn't that interested. Yeah, he just wasn't that in to me. This week, he makes eye contact. He responds to us. And he tracks objects, IF you move them very slowly, and then he only tracks for maybe 10 seconds, why? Sensory Overload...never heard of it, but, it's real.

Last week, sure, he'd occasionally take a paci, but this week, he 'needs' his paci. He's addicted to his paci! If he can't get to it, today I noticed, he'll just take his hand, fingers or thumb...whatever it takes to suck on something. He also started 'comfort' nursing, which is a HUGE turn around from a few weeks back when he hated to nurse. It's sweet.

When the paci gets turned around, he'll suck on its side. The puppy-paci, I caught him sucking on the puppy's ear. Hell, he's even sucked on the end of Chris's nose, which is really the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

Last week, he'd smile, on rare occasion. Though his smiles are still fairly spontaneous, they are more predictable as to when he'll do them. Just after a meal, he'll coo, wiggle, and smile. So now I have the camera at the ready after each feeding (aren't you just thrilled?) to document his happy faces.

Last week, he never napped....ever. (Granted he slept better at night that way) but this week, he takes 1-3 hr naps after his meals. We place in the boppy and place him on his tummy or side and he goes right to sleep. YES, we're right next to him, not leaving him unattended while he rests. Since he has colic, this is the best position for him to be comfy in.

Now, when he cries his non-hungry cry, we know to either give him a paci, or finger, or God forbid a nose (yuck) or put him in the boppy in that comfy position and he's happy as a clam. Why are clams so damn happy? Their lives suck when you think about it....but they do make a great sauce!

This week we learned he's 23 inches long. He's grown about 2 inches in one month. That's....impressive. He's tall and thin! GOOD! Short and fat sucks! Freakin' Michelin man can kiss my butt! Okay, fat babies are adorable but I have a "long and lean" one so that's clearly the best way to be now so far as I'm concerned. ;-)

We're trying the cloth diapers (http://www.fuzzibunz.com/) this week, thanks to Becky who lent me some. These things are expensive! I mean in the end, they are cheaper than disposables and better for Mother Earth, but man, the upfront cost to these things....wow! We're giving them a try for a while and see how that goes. Then we have to give them back! LOL! She'll make a fortune on these things when she sells some of them in the future. I mean, they're just a piece of material, with snaps....and absorbent properties...and cutesy designs!

So this week, the week in review...started to suck thumb, yes, that's called self soothing...fell madly in love with his paci, also decided he enjoys napping on his belly and side, FINALLY getting the hang of side nursing at night, tracking objects and making eye contact with his gorgeous baby blues....while he still has them.

I wonder what next week will bring?

My thoughts on Church....

This blog entry has NOTHING to do with faith. It has to do solely with the actual, physical Church, the building itself and the experience one got in the building, not the religion in general.

I know more about religion than almost any other person I know. Why? Because I was very, very religious growing up and as a young adult. For reasons unknown to everyone including those who forced this upon me....I was raised Catholic....but attended a Lutheran school for ten years...ten formative years.

For those of you who don't know jack about the reformation it was started by a little known German monk dude named Martin LUTHER(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_luther)...hence the Lutheran Church...if any break-a-way Church is anti-Catholic, you can pretty much bet that the Lutherans are at the top of that list.

So I attended Lutheran school by day and Catholic Church on some weekends....Catechism for Communion was fun. I never understood why the Catholics hated the Protestants and why the Protestants hated the Catholics...I mean yeah, there was some selling of indulgences and stuff...but I was just a tad confused growing up.

Let me tell you a little something about my Catholic Church I attended growing up, Holy Family, in North Miami, Florida. (http://www.holyfamilynorthmiami.com/) You'll notice from the picture it looks like a rolled up receipt. That place was round, round and HUGE....very huge. The acoustics were great! You could hear every whimper from every baby, every second of every mass. The only thing I liked was the pipe organ. I still dig me a pipe organ.

Our Priests, never spoke good English. There were always hundreds of babies there, crying, so even if they did speak English I never heard a word they said. The only person who forced me to go was Mema...and Mema told me, and I believed her, that there was "no bathroom" in Church.

NEVER tell someone with a hyperactive bladder that there is no bathroom! I of course spent every second of Mass each time looking from my seat in the painful pew for a bathroom. I never did find it. I was not, of course, allowed to get up and look for it. I'm sure it existed...somewhere...somewhere in that void on that holy ground there had to be a bathroom!

So I equate Church with the pain of a full bladder and the fear of wetting ones self. Fun huh?

Our service was never short. It was long...over an hour. Mema liked to get there early too. I had to pee before the processional even started!

As a young Catholic, you sit, stand, and kneel and more importantly watch on as everyone gets up, stands in line, and gets their very own communion wafer. You wonder what it tastes like, and when you'll get to sample some. You attend classes to prepare for eating said wafer. Finally the day comes....you get up to the front of the line and the Monseigneur offers you the body of Christ and it tastes like.....stale puffed wheat...it also sticks to the roof of your mouth. You're not supposed to chew it, or dig at it once it's stuck with your finger, so it lingers...stuck....for a pretty good period of time.

Despite all that, it's still fun. You're finally a real member of the Church. You're practically an adult! So you almost look forward to sitting with a full bladder while babies scream and Priests from the eastern block talk about the same stuff every week....until your Mema tells you another tall-tale...."You can't have communion if you missed the prior week of Church."

This is bogus and there was nothing I could do. As neither Mema nor I had a car, we had to rely on others to drive us to Church...and others NEVER drove us two Sundays in a row! SO....I never got Communion again until twenty six years later....after Mema was dead and I actually at my own will entered a different Catholic Church. Guess what? I did not implode! Nor did I spontaneously combust...nor did I burst into flames....nor did the wafer poison my throat.

So now when I think of Church, I think of full bladders and starvation! Oh, and back pain. Why? Because I have mild scoliosis. Did anyone in my family tell me? NO! LOL! I thought it was normal to gimp around with a bent and bruised spine my entire life. Spending every week in my Lutheran Church at school, seated in wooden pews and then what seemed like every 'other' Sunday at Catholic Church did a number on my spine. All that wood rubbing up against me for years and years meant I had a perpetual cut and bruised spine. Don't get me started on my knees! YES, what 12 yr old has bad knees? Well, me.

I'm a klutz. I bang my knees, often! One in particular, my right, gets banged badly, every two years or so. Four years ago I managed to crack the darn thing. That was fun. I wore a knee brace for years in my 20s...kneeling was not an option. Okay so now Church equals full bladders, starvation, back bruising and knees that pop so loud when I kneel even the Priest who speaks no English stops yapping and the babies stop crying.

Then there is the boredom. Here's how my Church went....pipe organ, my favorite part, processional, always made the hairs on my arms stand up...song, some muttering in a foreign tongue, a reading from the book of who knows because all I hear is the baby behind me screaming at the top of it's heathen lungs, some more talk by the Priest who I couldn't hear, another song that I couldn't sing but thankfully the choir could, step class...and then...the story of Communion.

It was the same story every week, obviously, it'd not changed in 2000 years. It took 30 minutes to tell. A wafer would be held up to the sky light over the alter, a bell would be rung by a alter boy, then the blood of Christ would get held up, another bell...then some stinky incense would be released thus gassing us all nearly to death. Then 2000 people who I know for a FACT did not attend the Mass the week prior got up and took their Communion while I was forced to kneel on bad knees and NOT take the Communion I worked so hard to earn because the week prior our ride fell through!

All I would think about was a toilet...which was easy to do as our Church was so plain. See, Church's are supposed to be beautiful, right? Ours was......plain...........minimalist..........it was decorated by Ikea I think. Red carpet...tan walls....and the gorgeous stained glass windows? Um no. These were solid colored stained glass cubes scatted throughout the circular building. The colors were red, blue or green, and since there were no walls really they were just...there...in no particular order. I always wanted to sit in the front but Mema liked the back. The back was good because I could stake out a path to a potential albeit fictitious bathroom that way but the front would have a nicer and different view of the skylight over the alter, and closer to the choir. But no, never happened.

Fast forward many years. Ohio is a very Catholic state. They say that most people in SW Ohio are Catholic, yet I'm surrounded by Protestant Churches. I did some research and found a Catholic Church in my town, my very small town. It was founded in the mid 1800's...so, it's old! It's older than dirt! Unlike the rolled up receipt, this one looks traditional, with dark brown brick and real stained glass windows.

For reasons I won't mention, I made a promise that I'd attend Church one Sunday if something 'good' was done for me, which it was, so I went.

First I was struck by its size. It's tiny! Very tiny! I'd never been in such a small Church before. I thought all Catholic Churches were gigantic....nope! Second, it was gorgeous! The walls inside were a subtle gray and there were beautiful stained glass windows, mostly blue in color, with events from the bible depicted in them. Same painful wooden pews of course...oh, and the kneeling. LOL...which now I cheat and lop my butt onto the pew...(yes I said butt and pew) and fake kneel, I doubt anyone will care.

There were babies but the acoustics made it so they didn't dominate the sounds. There was no pipe organ! Shame...no room for it! There was...........a piano.....a dude with an electric guitar and....a drummer. Yup...their very own Tommy Lee. I was...shocked. The Priest, was American, and happy...he smiled...a lot! He waved to everyone. Despite its size the place probably holds 200 people or so, and he seemed to know a lot of them.

Yeah we sang some song, well they sang, I don't sing...some dude read from the Bible....and then the Priest talked....about.....well I don't even recall on that day as it was three yrs ago, but he talked and he was funny. He talked about normal every day stuff and in the end tied it into Christian doctrine. Then, some people carried the wafer down the aisle to him...and he read another passage and everyone got up to eat. No long drawn out story, the same story....no bells, no incense. Is this a Catholic Church? I assure you it was!

I stood up and after not attending Church in 7 yrs and I took Communion. I even gave a dollar in their "beg" basket. Then, it was over! We sang a song and poof, done! Forty whole minutes! I was shocked. I thought to myself, wow, that wasn't bad, not bad at all!

I went again last weekend, with William. I was terrified he'd cry and ruin everything for everyone. Instead he farted. Man what I would have given for those incense. We sat in the last row, at the end of the pew...the painful pew which killed my spine and tail bone....there was standing room only behind us, all of them no doubt staring at my gorgeous baby, who I wore in a sling, nice and snug.

I once again took that wafer! I listened as the Priest talked about the importance of fathers, it was after all Father's Day. Father Manning is a plump man of older age. He smiled, a lot and had great stage presence. It was obvious he wanted to be there. He was happy to be there. He made jokes and smiled and laughed....I thought it was a sin to smile in a Catholic Church.

So, in the end, after all those years...I thought I hated the Catholic Church. No, I thought I hated Church in general. Turns out...I didn't hate the Catholic Church....I just hated 'that' Catholic Church. The one that I'd always gone too....

Still though, despite my going to a different Church, I never did find the bathroom....

The geyser...

So tonight, little one started to cry. Before I could do anything, a geyser erupted. Yup. I've never seen anything like it, nor has Chris. This stuff just SHOT out of the boob, straight into the air with such great force....and it kept going and going and going, like the Energizer Bunny. I was freaked out, and didn't know what to do! After 10 seconds or so the husband ran to get a towel while I yelled "Are you seeing this?!" over and over....I wasn't touching my boob, no one was. Little man was on my lap crying and boom! Finally Chris said "Put it in his mouth!" LOL! So....duh....I did. I mean this thing was like the BP oil leak....there was no stopping it.

I suppose that's what "let down" is...I've never really experienced that before, at least not visually. I suppose it's a great sign that my supply is good and my boob's hearing is spot-on. Little man didn't appear to choke, so that's good too. As for the clean up...we need some relief workers pronto in my living room!

Tales, from the titty...

:-)

So I co-sleep, which I swore I'd never do. But, I do. It happened by accident, we just fell asleep together. I decided I liked it. As a preemie I worried about his breathing after all. Now though it's so much easier to just have him in the bed. True, some nights are hell but most are not. What's 'gross' is...I tend to leak...all over HIM, and all over the bed.

This morning, Mr. Crusty Head woke up, well, all crusty with dried milk, his swaddle was drenched and there was the largest puddle on the sheets. Eww...but, he tends to sleep so much better if he's right up on me, which is why I don't wear a shirt. Ugh, so it's have him sleep in a pool of milk and stain the sheets, or wear a shirt, and bra and pads (which I leak through anyway) and make it more of a hassle to side feed at 3am and not have him sleep as well....

Today we went out for a few hours to get some exercise and I leaked through my pads, my nursing bra and my shirt. Lovely! I had him in my sling so no one could see the leak. I am guessing my previous problem of low supply is no longer a problem, which brings me to my topic of the day....my how things changed. Here's how things have changed since I started this journey three months ago.

1. Low supply. I pumped and pumped while he was in the NICU...on average, every 2-4 hours. I was lucky if I got half an ounce total...that's for both breasts, in a session. Of course at the time he was only taking maybe three quarters an ounce by feeding tube anyway. So from day one he's gotten half or slightly more than half his food from me, the rest, formula. (soy)

2. Nipple preference. When he did finally take a bottle for the first time, around 10 days old, he didn't even like that! He could hardly suck. Maybe three sucks if we were lucky. He finally learned how to eat. By the time he came home from the NICU, 4.5 weeks after birth, he greatly preferred the bottle. He'd scream, kick, and push 'me' away. So, I pumped while Chris bottle fed, for every feeding.

3. Time. Now, he no longer cares where he gets his meals from. He'll take a paci, a bottle, or me...whatever it takes. My new problem is he can down a bottle in two minutes....me, two hours. I don't always have two hours though. Ugh. But I've not pumped in many days, and I feed him from me exclusively more than he gets a bottle.

It's amazing how things change. Now, my sheets are proof, supply is no longer my issue. I remember when I prayed for more milk, now I have it. Then, he preferred the bottle to me. I prayed for the day he wanted me. Now, he wants me. LOL...he wants me so bad... :-) Maybe too bad...too much! Now, it's just the time factor....

I wonder what next weeks challenge will be?

My breastfeeding challenges...a history...

My initial plan was to breastfeed immediately after birth, but of course he was whisked away to a NICU 20 miles from me that night so..since he's a preemie, breastfeeding has been a challenge. I pumped since day two but never pumped a good amount. In the NICU I breastfed I think three times, each time for 1 to 5 minutes only. Because he's a preemie, he just couldn't stay awake to feed, he was barely awake for the bottle.

Our first attempts were with a shield and did not hurt, at all. I've read and heard if you do it right, it does not hurt....more on that later.

Fast forward a month and I get him home. It was still a challenge. By that time he had nipple preference, and he preferred the rubber kind. He screamed when I tried to feed him, he'd push me away, kick, spit me out, in short...he gave my boob the middle finger. My joke at the time...He doesn't like the boob...maybe he's an ass man. ;-) (Get used to my warped sense of humor or leave this blog) :-)

So I'd pump while Chris bottle fed him nasty smelling and over priced soy based formula. Whatever I pumped, we'd feed him but it was never enough in volume.

Fast forward a month and we get...thrush! Which we still have! Awesome! Each week got better in terms of his feeding and my supply growing....along with my pain.

Not sure when the pain kicked in exactly but it did indeed kick in. Ouch. Let's put it this way, in labor I never cussed, screamed, yelled, even held Chris's hand let alone clinched it, never broke a sweat....breastfeeding on the other hand, all of thee above...when I say scream, I mean scream. Pant, sweat, shriek...sometimes his latch sucks, pun intended, mix that with thrush and you have...blistered, dry, cracked, bleeding nipples! Woo hoo! I have calluses on them! Yup! I use lanolin but it doesn't do much. When his latch goes array I break the seal with my pinky and try to breathe again.

Lately I'm determined to get him off formula. So I tried a formula and bottle free day....he fed off me for 12 hours...pretty much non stop. Um, ouch and hello, I had things I needed to do, like PEE! After all that he was still hungry and he got a bottle. Talk about a 'let down'.

That same week though I noticed I got bigger, quite a bit bigger and he no longer preferred the bottle over me. He took the breast like a champ! He still needed a booster of bottled formula from time to time but far less of it. Also when I pumped my supply went way up, enough to fill a bottle for him! And I've not pumped since. That was a week ago.

In this last week, he gets on average, 2, 2 ounce bottles of formula, the rest comes directly from the breast...my callused, blistered, cracked breasts. I'm in so much pain I can't even wear clothes, which Chris loves btw.

So, why do I persist? I'm a masochist. No. I have fibromyalgia and am in pain all the time, I don't need additional pain and this is bad, bad, bad pain. I do it because it's best for him and me and I like a challenge. I'm going to make this work. I want him off formula all together by month's end. This is much easier said than done.

I'm done with the rant for now. Today I earned my '3 month' badge of honor the breastfeeding forum on live journal. I wear it with pride...painful pride.

I'm back!!!

(Just started showing here, 25 weeks pregnant)

(31 weeks pregnant)

(One week before the birth, 32 weeks pregnant)

After a long break, I am back, at least in theory. William does not allow me a great deal of internet time and now that Chris is back to work, I'll have even less of it. I am trying to blog again on a regular basis. So a few things have changed...for those of you who know me, feel free to skip this paragraph ;-)

I had a baby, after 2.5 years of trying. We were told we had a less than 1% chance of ever conceiving. After 'not trying' last August, we conceived the old fashioned way. It was the the most stressful two and a half years of my life. I never wish to relive that. Every month for nearly that entire time was hell. If my boobs hurt, was I pregnant? Or was my period coming? Usually it was the latter. Every month I really thought I was pregnant, that gets old...quick! In August of 2008, I was late, VERY late...I was convinced it actually happened...only to find it did not. After a few negative pregnancy tests I began to hemorrhage and I continued to do so for 10 days. Turns out I had a very large ovarian cyst that caused all that bleeding. That concerned me, as if we needed MORE challenges in that department. For the two weeks leading up to the blood-bath, I thought I was pregnant, despite the negative test results. So when last September rolled around and I was late again, I was convinced it was yet another cyst. I didn't tell anyone I was late, I didn't think I was pregnant at all...I didn't want that disappointment again. I didn't even test. After seven days, Chris pretty much forced me to test. As I was still peeing, the second pink line appeared and I screamed "I'm pregnant!"

I don't think Chris believe me...I wiped really fast, LOL...and ran out to show him and asked him ten times at least if I were insane or if that was a second pink line...turns out it was. It was a very happy day...happy indeed. We said we'd tell no one but we immediately told nearly everyone.

The next week was good. Saw my Dr, who I loved, Dr. Hilkowitz, got an ultrasound, saw the little speck that would be William and.....................the rest is too horrible to recount, let's just say hyperemesis, pic lines, hospitalizations, medicine-induced depression, pre-term labor, bed rest and then...a premature baby.

But seven months later, he was born...yes, seven. He was nearly two months early. After a month and a half in the NICU he came home and now is doing fine. He's three months old, but really he's five weeks old, he looks five weeks old but acts more in-between the two.

Mama-D

:-) Pregnant

Yes, it's true, though I've not announced it on Facebook just yet. How am I feeling? Well the first week, I thought I was having a bad fibro week, turns out I was just pregnant. This week, I had cramping, severe back pain to the point I could not function but no bleeding. The Dr is a little concerned so I'm doing a 48 hr hormone test to ensure the baby is...hanging around.

I had an ultrasound. It showed pretty much nothing but the sac and the beginnings of the umbilical cord. Enclosed are pictures. The sac looks like a black lima bean. I circled it in yellow. The pink circle shows the white line that is the beginnings of the umbilical cord.

Almond Joy Cake

Okay, I'm 'NOT' very good at cakes, at all. This was my second try on this. It's pretty good, could use a bit of work, probably halved instead of slivered almonds.

Cake Ingredients

1 3/4 cup flour
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk (use whole milk)
1/2 cup canola oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon coconut extract
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 cup boiling water

Pre-heat oven to 350. In a large bowl combine all the dry ingredients. In the mixer, mix all the wet ingredients except the water. Mix until incorporated. Add the boiling water slowly and continue to mix. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. Once combined add to two nine-inch cake pans. Bake for 30-35 minutes. Place on cooling rack to cool.

Filling ingredients

1 brick of cream cheese
1 stick of butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon coconut extract
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 bag of slivered or sliced almonds (toast them on the stove first)
7 ounces sweetened-shredded coconut
1 cup of powdered sugar

Cream the butter and cream cheese together. Add the extracts. Turn mixer onto low and slowly add the sugar. Next, add the almonds and coconut. Put in the refrigerator for an hour to cool.

When the cakes are cooled completely, add three-quarters of the filling in-between the two layers of cake.

Ingredients for frosting

*Add these to the remainder of the coconut filling*
1 brick of cream cheese
1 stick of butter
Three-quarters of a bag of chocolate chips (I use Hershey Special dark)
1 cup of powdered sugar

In a double-boiler, melt the chocolate chips. While they melt, cream the butter and cream cheese with the existing filling at medium speed. Slow the mixer to low and add the powdered sugar. Once the chips are melted, add the chocolate (it's easier if you use a rubber spatula) to the frosting mixture. Continue to mix until well blended. Put the frosting in the refrigerator to cool for one hour.

Extra chocolate cupcakes with chocolate-cream cheese frosting

Cupcake Ingredients (Yield, 12 cupcakes)

4 TBS butter
1/4 cup canola oil
1/2 cup water
4 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips (You can use any flavor, I prefer Hershey's Special Dark or semi-sweet)
1 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup plus 2 TBS cocoa powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp salt
1 large egg
1/4 "whole" milk (Don't use skim, must be whole or buttermilk)
1 tsp vanilla extract

First, using a double-boiler, melt the chocolate chips. (I use a sauce pan and a heat-safe glass bowl) In another sauce pan set to low heat, melt the butter with the oil and water.

Preheat oven to 350, spray cupcake liners. In a large bowl, sift the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt. To another bowl (The mixer bowl) add the melted chocolate chips, the water-oil-butter mixture and beat on low speed until smooth. Add the egg and beat until incorporated. Next add the milk and vanilla and continue to beat until smooth. Slowly add the dry ingredients until incorporated.

Pour the mixture into the liners and bake on center rack for about 20-25 minutes. Let cool and then frost.

Frosting Ingredients

1 stick softened butter
1 brick of cream cheese
2 1/2 cups powder sugar
1 tsp vanilla
4 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips.

Again using the double-boiler, melt the chips. Cream together the butter and cream cheese, then add the chocolate. Add vanilla and turn the mixer from medium to low and slowly add the powdered sugar (You can use up too 3 cups of sugar). It will ice easier if you let it cool in the refrigerator for 30 minutes before icing the cupcakes.

Roasted Tomato Soup with Healthy Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Ingredients for soup

1 dozen Roma Tomatoes
1 bulb of garlic
1/4 cup of heavy cream
2 cans of petite diced tomatoes
1/4 cup olive oil
4 ounces of goat cheese* (Optional)
salt, pepper, thyme, dried basil, and onion powder to taste.

For the soup, preheat oven to 400. Slice the Roma Tomatoes length wise in half and place on foiled baking sheet. Add olive oil and salt and pepper to taste over each tomato half. Next, slice off the top 1/4 inch or so of the bulb of garlic. Add olive oil, salt and pepper to the exposed top of the bulb and wrap entire bulb in aluminum foil.

The garlic bulb goes into the oven for the longest amount of time, 30-40 minutes or until the consistency of butter. (You should be able to squeeze the garlic out from the skins when done). Put the tomatoes in the oven and roast for 25 minutes.

In a blender, add the roasted tomatoes and the roasted garlic and liquefy. Add contents to a large soup pot. Then add the canned tomatoes with the juice into the blender and liquefy. Add contents to the soup pot. Stir together and add salt, pepper, onion powder, thyme and dried basil to taste.

Simmer for 30 minutes and add the cream (as much or as little as you'd like) at the end. Break off little chunks of the goat cheese and stir into the soup until it's all melted.

Ingredients for Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Freshly baked bread ;-)
4 slices of any cheese (yellower cheeses melt faster than orange ones)
2 TBSP of olive oil

Using a non-stick pan, add 1/2 a tablespoon of olive oil over medium-high heat. Use the remaining olive oil (I eyeball it) on the 'outside' of the bread. I oil one side, place the oil-side-down into the pan and then press firmly on the top of the sandwich with a spatula. Before you flip it, be sure to add olive oil to the top of the bread. Flip and press down firmly with the spatula until the bread is crunchy and all of the cheese has melted, about five minutes total.

Italian Sausage Risotto

Simmering in the wine

Adding stock to risotto

Adding sauce to browned sausage

Adding cheese at the end

Final product!

YUM! I love this recipe! I think I made it up, but I doubt it, I'm sure someone else has done this.

Ingredients

1 package of Italian Sausage (I use mild, use any kind you like, can use turkey or pork)
1 can of plain tomato sauce
3 tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup of wine (white or red, or you can use water)
1 cup of risotto rice
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
6 cups of chicken stock (Low sodium)
-salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder to taste-

Instructions

In a large, non-stick frying pan over medium-high heat, add the wine and 1 tbsn olive oil. Once simmering, add the sausage and cover with the lid.

In a medium sized, non-stick pot on medium heat, add 1 tbsn olive oil and the 1 cup of risotto. This is called 'toasting the rice'. Do this for about three minutes or so, and then ladle in one ladle-full of warm chicken stock and stir. You have to keep stirring the entire time you're cooking it.

Meanwhile, turn your sausages over, put the lid back on and continue to cook until all of the wine is cooked off.

Ladle in more stock every time the risotto begins to look dry. In the end, you will use approximately 4-6 cups of stock.

When all of the wine in the frying pan is absorbed, add 1 more tbsn of olive oil and lower heat to medium. Keep turning the sausage so all sides of the casing brown, keep the lid on to speed up the process.

When all sides are browned, add one can of tomato sauce to the frying pan. Add salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder to taste, and lower heat to low. Put the lid back on and continue to cook until the sausage is done.

Taste your rice after about 15 minutes for texture. Towards the end, add salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder to taste. When the risotto has reached your desired texture , add the shredded mozzarella cheese. Stir in and serve.

Top with the sausage-sauce and sausage. Slice into chunks and top with freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Enjoy!

Sheppard's Pie

Today I'm making a Sheppard's Pie. It's a Rachael Ray recipe, can use ground turkey, but I use ground sirloin, 96% fat free.Brown the meat with minced garlic and diced onions (just as many as you like). Add salt and pepper to taste. When the meat is almost done, add a some Worcestershire Sauce, as much or as little as you like. Remove the beef, deglaze the pan with red wine, beef broth or just add a little olive oil and sauté mushrooms. When the mushrooms are nearly done, salt and pepper them and add some more Worcestershire sauce. Then add beef broth, and some flour to make a thick mushroom gravy.Add the browned meat to the bottom of a round, deep casserole dish, top with the mushroom gravy.

Meanwhile in a deep pot, add Yukon gold (any potato you like) that's been cubed into cold water. Bring to boil, boil until fork tender. (Once the water boils, add salt to the pot.) Mash the potatoes, add skim milk (or milk or cream) 1 tbs butter, and add as much or as little 'gorgonzola cheese as you like to the potatoes. Top the meat and gravy with the potatoes. (Optional to add some more mozzarella, or any kind of cheese you like to the top of the potatoes) and bake off at 350 for about 20 minutes, until there is a crust on top and the cheese on top is melted.

Recent pictures taken with the pups

ENJOY!

Traditional 'Mild' Red Bean Chili

All of the spices really should be measured per your own tastes, but I'll give you suggestions. This is a "MILD" chili. Chili-powder is optional. (Use as little are as much as you prefer)

Ingredients:
1 lb leanest ground sirloin (Can use white meat turkey breast)
3 cans of red kidney beans (strained and rinsed)
1 small white onion, finely diced
2 cans plain tomato sauce (low sodium or no salt added is preferred)
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp Kosher salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1/8 tsp chili powder (optional)

(Serve topped with shredded 'Mexican cheese', cheddar, or any yellow cheese)

Instructions:
I start by dicing the onion. You can use a cheese grater to get it very fine. Add to a frying pan with some olive oil and a pinch of Kosher salt. Next, add the lean ground beef. Add half of all of the seasonings to the beef and onion mixture. When the meat is browned, move the meat and onion mixture to a soup pot. Add the rinsed red kidney beans and the rest of the seasonings. Add 1 can of tomato sauce for a dryer chili and two for a soupier chili. (If you like, add more of the above seasonings to the sauce. It's good to season each layer).

Cover and let simmer for one hour. This tastes better the next day.

Top the chili with some cheese and serve plain, or over brown rice. Another option is to bake a potato and serve the chili with cheese on the potato.

Adventures from the dog park, part IV

Today the weather was nice. Even though we were tired, it was time for the dog's to have some fun, so we ventured to the dog park.

Another schnauzer we've grown to admire, Tanner, was there as always. He makes Pippin look like a mute! Tanner is VERY barky and loud. He's also the welcome wagon, along with Brady and Pip, to other dogs who enter his realm. After all, Tanner is a terrier, ergo the entire park is HIS. Brady was loving up on Tanner's parents, Tanner protested with a slew of barks. I'd assume if I had a translator, I'd come to find he said "Pump the breaks kid! Get away from my people!"

Next Pippin decided he was interviewing new owners and started to love on Tanner's people too, to which Tanner protested with "There's only room for ONE schnauzer in my house and you ain't it!"

Then Tanner said things to Brady that I can not repeat here, let's just say, Tanner has a bit of a potty mouth, so his people scooped him up and left.

All was fine at the park, which then defaulted to being Pippin's park as he was the lone terrier...until a somewhat large woman, wearing too tight of clothes and LOW-RIDE jeans decided to bend over to air out her butt crack.

Brady is a fan of butt-er...yes, like most dogs, he's addicted to butt and was in the mood for a snack. Yes, he feasted on her butt. There I said it, but it's the truth. The owner of the crack was mortified when Brady licked her crack and squealed as Chris just stood nearby and laughed. I've had to feed Brady many breath bones since we got home but she got what she deserved! For once it wasn't Brady being butt-handled at the park by other mean dogs, but the other way around!

;-)

Matzo ball soup and homemade chicken stock

My stock pot is not too big, be sure never to peel the yellow onion, it gives the stock color


Duh... :-)


Ice cream scoop makes for a much easier process and ensures they are all the same size


They swell after they boil

Homemade Stock

Ingredients
(Depending on the size of your pot) 3 to 5, five pound chicken carcasses (yeah, no other way to say it) bones and a bit of meat, no skin.

2 large yellow onions, SKINS ON

4 large carrots

4 stalks of celery

1 cup of fresh parsley

3 bay leaves

6 sprigs of fresh thyme

2 tbsp kosher salt

1 tsp fresh cracked black pepper

*Enough water to fill all of the pot

Instructions

Bring to a boil, remove lid, let simmer for FOUR hours. Stir occasionally, skim fat off the top every hour. Pour contents into a strainer. Remove any bits of the chicken meat and add back to the stock. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Matzo Ball Soup

Ingredients

Eggs (8)
Matzo Meal (2 cups)
Kosher Salt (1-2 tbs, to taste)
Canola Oil (2 tbs)
Dill (1 tsp)
Fresh chicken stock (4 tbs)

Honestly the instructions are on the box. I always quadruple the recipe to make 30 or so matzo balls. I also always add LESS salt than the recipe calls for. Add 1 tsp dill to the quadrupled recipe. Add some dill to the stock as well for better flavor. Instead of refrigerating, I put my matzo meal in the freezer for 30 minutes after I blend it. I always add 'stock' not water to the meal, per the instructions.

Now this is a matter of taste: I prefer my matzo balls a little on the firm side. I also boil mine in water, not stock. The matzo meal really absorbs the stock. If you make a lot of stock you can boil them in stock but remove them from the stock after they are boiled so they don't absorb all the stock. Since I prefer them a bit firm, I only boil mine for 15-20 minutes. Also to make life easier, instead of forming balls in my hands, (messy) I use a smallish ice-cream scooper. Not only is this easier and cleaner, but all the matzo balls will be the same size and cook at the same time. Also they will swell to at least three times their size so use a small melon-baller or small ice cream scoop.

Add matzo balls to a bowl and then top with stock and chicken pieces. Always store the balls alone, not in the stock. They actually do taste good reheated the next day. This is how I've been making them for years. GOOD LUCK!